Your 1:1s Are a Waste of Time. Let's Fix It with the GROW Model.

We’ve all been there. The 15-minute calendar reminder pops up: "1:1 with [Team Member]." You both dial in, make awkward small talk, and then it happens... the dreaded question: "So, uh... what's on your list?"

What follows is usually a glorified status update. It's a verbal to-do list that could have been an email, leaving both of you feeling like it was a waste of time. These meetings are the most expensive, highest-leverage conversations a manager can have, yet most of us are squandering them.

The problem? We're stuck in "manager mode," focused on tasks and updates. The solution is to shift into "coach mode," focused on development and problem-solving.

You don't need a fancy certification to do this. You just need a better framework. Meet the GROW model—a simple, four-step tool that will turn your dreadful status updates into the most powerful conversations you have all week.

What is the GROW Model?

The GROW model is a brilliantly simple framework for structuring a coaching conversation. While it was co-developed in the 1980s by several business coaches including Sir John Whitmore, it was truly pioneered and brought into the corporate mainstream by Alan Fine and the team at InsideOut Development. Their work transformed it into one of the most respected and widely used coaching tools in the world.

As a framework I believe in and use constantly, its power lies in its simplicity. It’s a roadmap that moves a conversation from a vague problem to a concrete action plan, all by asking better questions.

The four phases are:

• Goal: What do you want?

• Reality: What is happening now?

• Options: What could you do?

• Way Forward: What will you do?

Let’s break down how to use each phase to unlock your team member's potential.

Phase 1: G (Goal) - Setting a Clear Destination

The most common mistake managers make is diving straight into the problem. This immediately frames the conversation in negativity and limits the scope of the solution.

The GROW model flips this on its head. You start with the desired outcome. The psychology here is powerful: by defining what a "win" looks like first, you anchor the conversation in a positive, forward-looking vision. It shifts the energy from "fixing a problem" to "achieving a goal."

Example questions to establish the GOAL:

1. What do you want to achieve by the end of this conversation?

2. If you could wave a magic wand, what would the ideal outcome be for this project?

3. Let's jump ahead to the end of the quarter. What would you like to have accomplished?

4. What does success look like for you in this situation?

5. What's the most important thing for us to focus on right now?

6. Describe the perfect relationship with [client/stakeholder].

7. What do you want for yourself out of this?

8. What would give you the greatest sense of progress?

9. How will you know you've been successful?

10. What's the change you'd most like to see?

11. What would make you feel truly proud of how you handled this?

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Phase 2: R (Reality) - Getting an Honest Assessment

Once the goal is clear, it's time to understand the current situation. This is the diagnosis phase, but it must be handled with care. The goal is to get a clear, unbiased picture of what's happening without creating defensiveness.

Your job here is not to judge or solve, but to be a mirror. Ask open-ended questions that help the employee reflect on their own experience and observations.

Example questions to explore REALITY:

1. What's the current status of this?

2. What steps have you already taken? What were the results?

3. What's working well right now? What's not?

4. What are the biggest challenges getting in your way?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how confident do you feel about this? What makes it a [that number]?

6. Who are the key stakeholders involved? What are their perspectives?

7. What feedback have you received so far?

8. What assumptions might you be making?

9. What resources do you currently have? What are you missing?

10. What’s the one thing that, if it changed, would make the biggest difference?

11. What are you trying to avoid?

Phase 3: O (Options) - Unlocking Creative Solutions

This is where the magic happens. Now that you have a clear goal and an honest assessment of reality, it's time to brainstorm. Critically, your role is to facilitate, not dictate. The best solutions are the ones the employee generates themselves—they have more ownership and are far more likely to follow through.

Resist the urge to say, "Have you tried...?" Instead, create a judgment-free space for creative thinking.

Techniques for this phase:

• The "Magic Wand" Question: "If anything were possible—no budget, time, or resource constraints—what would you do?"

• The "One Small Step" Question: "What's one tiny thing you could do tomorrow that would move this forward?"

• Brainstorm Quantity Over Quality: "Let's just list 10 different ideas, no matter how crazy they seem."

• Ask About Others: "What would [a mentor or expert they admire] do in this situation?"

Phase 4: W (Way Forward) - Committing to Action

An idea without a plan is just a wish. This final phase is about turning the best option into a concrete commitment. Your goal is to help your employee build a simple, actionable plan that they can start immediately. This creates accountability and ensures the conversation translates into real-world progress.

Help them define the very next step, identify what support they need, and set a time to check in.

Putting It All Together: A Sample GROW Conversation

Scenario: An employee, Alex, missed a deadline on an important report.

Manager: "Hey Alex, thanks for meeting. I wanted to talk about the Q3 report. Before we dive in, let's start with the goal. (G) What would a great outcome look like for this report from your perspective?"

Alex: "Honestly, I just want to get it done and have it be accurate so we can use it for the board meeting."

Manager: "Great, that's the goal: a completed, accurate report. Now let's look at the current reality. (R) Can you walk me through what's happening with it now?"

Alex: "I've hit a roadblock. I'm waiting on the data from the sales team, and they haven't sent it. I'm completely stuck until I get it."

Manager: "Okay, so the key blocker is the sales data. What have you tried so far to get it?"

Alex: "I sent an email on Monday."

Manager: "Got it. Let's brainstorm some options. (O) Knowing the deadline is tight, if anything were possible, what could you do to get that data?"

Alex: "Well, I could email them again. Or I could go over to Sarah's desk, since she's the sales lead. I guess I could also ask her boss, but that feels like a big escalation."

Manager: "Those are three solid options. Any others?"

Alex: "Maybe I could see if there's a preliminary version of the data I could use to start building the report structure."

Manager: "Excellent idea. So we have: email again, talk to Sarah directly, escalate to her boss, or ask for preliminary data. Of those, what feels like the best way forward? (W) What will you do?"

Alex: "I think talking to Sarah directly is the best next step. It's faster than email. I'll go see her right after this meeting."

Manager: "Perfect. What support do you need from me?"

Alex: "If I can't get what I need from her, could you help me think through how to approach her boss?"

Manager: "Absolutely. Let's check in at the end of the day to see how it went. This sounds like a great plan."

From Manager to Coach

Notice the shift? The manager didn't solve the problem. They created a safe space for Alex to solve his own problem. That's the power of coaching. Frameworks like GROW are the building blocks of psychological safety—they foster clarity, give employees a voice, and build trust.

Reading about the GROW model is the first step. The next is mastering it. The S.A.F.E.T.Y. Accelerator™ is my signature pilot program designed to equip your managers with these essential coaching skills. We don't just talk about theory; we practice it in live scenarios so they can build the confidence and competence your team deserves.

[Click here to book a call and discuss if the S.A.F.E.T.Y. Accelerator™ is the right fit for your team.]